Rainy Days Present Blossoms for The Spotted Cow Coffeehouse

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drive throughIt’s a slow day at the coffee shop today. Rain is trickling against the windows. Over the past few weeks I have come to the conclusion that this coffee shop is not my dream. But I tried.

It feels a little like failure. Like jumping into a race and fading out by mile two. Am I giving up too soon? If I pass it on, will it grow into something bigger? Is it a business that was meant to grow eventually, and was it out of my hands to make that happen? These are the questions that are constantly racing through my mind, as I on the outside, admit to failure.

But I didn’t fail. I tried.

My brother Levi, who has Down syndrome, decided to take a different route. Rather than work for me at the coffee shop, he decided to work at Frisches. He absolutely loved the job. He felt a pride in working in a normal place. All he really dreams of is being considered normal. But after one and a half months, the restaurant let him go. He was heartbroken. Not because he lost his paycheck, but because he didn’t measure up.

I can’t blame Frisches. Being a business owner, I understand the struggles of trying to run an efficient business while also surviving the ever-increasing minimum wage. It’s a battle to survive and when you try to develop your combat team, you want the fastest, the smartest, the most creative. Simply, businesses want a dynamically engineered labor force, and we’re stuck with, humans. We all fail. We make mistakes. There is not a perfect person out there, though some often seem to come close.

I opened the Spotted Cow Coffeehouse with people in mind. I didn’t create the business with the idea that I would have the World’s best cup of coffee. As a team we developed a great cup of coffee. The business was built to prove something—that individuals with disabilities do have the ability to offer creativity, knowledge, and efficiency. They know how to offer quality service and a great product.

My workers are successful. They have helped create a valuable product, and they offer great service. They prepare a product as fast and good as any normal business. I don’t hire people with disabilities out of pity. I look at their skills and what can be built from what they have. But because I don’t hire out of pity, I cannot help everyone. There are students in the area writing The Spotted Cow as their dream job, and the business cannot hire them. There are adults with disabilities constantly walking through my door with a sparkle in their eye, hoping to get a job, and I have to turn them away. They say the sky is the limit, but reaching that limit rings as low as the clouds are on this rainy day.

I’m not giving up on the coffee shop. Because I am not a quitter. I am looking for a way to live out my dream—to fulfill the dreams of individuals with developmental disabilities. I want to advocate for these individuals to employers so that they can help these individuals fulfill their dreams. But I cannot do that while running The Spotted Cow. My business will be under new management, but I will still be the owner.

Though today seems dreary, there is always sunshine and joy after rain. It brings new beginnings for both myself and individuals with disabilities. That is a joy in which I can find a glimpse of perfection.

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Letter To My Love

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2015-04-26 10.10.43One aspect of my life that I never seem to talk about is the fact that I am bipolar. It can be very difficult at times, especially when it comes to things that everyone wants, like love. If you have ever loved someone with bipolar, it is important to understand that they do love you back, they just have a funny way of showing it.

To my Love:

All the words I want to say to you can be difficult to rhyme.
And what I feel about you now is sure to heighten over time.
One thing I know to be true is that I love you more than air;
A simple life satisfaction that we often forget is there.

There are many times I laugh and many times I cry.
It is often hard to read my pages but I’m so thankful that you try.
I don’t know why you love me, because I know I make it hard.
You constantly give into me even when I put up my guard.

Sometimes I cry because I want to scare you away.
I think it’ll be easier if I had an excuse for you not to stay.
The things that go through my mind are not easy to understand;
I can be so prideful, and I refuse your helping hand.

Thank you for being who you are and for doing all you do.
I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you.
I know that there things in which you and I disagree,
But I’m so thankful that you always come back for me.

Through thick and thin we always thrive
When I’m with you I feel alive
Though it’s hard to understand why I can act how I do.
There is one thing that will remain constant, I love you.

Employment First?

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Regarding the Employment First Mandate, which states, According to state law in Ohio, employment services for people with developmental disabilities shall be directed at community employment and all people with developmental disabilities are presumed capable of community employment.

I am an employer of a small coffee shop in Urbana, Ohio. I am the sibling of three individuals with developmental disabilities, and I currently employ six individuals with developmental disabilities.
First, not all individuals with developmental disabilities are employable. As both an employer and sibling of individuals that are not typically abled, I am rather lenient compared to most employees when it comes to implementing the abilities of these individuals. However, there are many individuals that have a disability that I will never hire. My sister, whom I love dearly, will never have a job with me. No matter what training she is given, she will never be up to the standards I need to run an efficient business. If I, a dominant advocate for these individuals, will not hire, then it should be presumed that other businesses will not take the risk either.

Second, I will not hire these individuals out of pity, nor should any business be swayed to hire an individual with a disability for their life circumstances. Many county SSA’s have hounded me and a couple vocational programs that I work with to simply give an individual a job. It is assumed that because the individual is mandated to have a job that employers will jump on this bandwagon. That is simply not true. I interview every individual, whether typically functioning or not, to see how they will fit into my business.

Third, individuals are expected to get community jobs, where they are expected to build relationships with other abled-bodied individuals. Some individuals are empowered by getting a community job. Others are very hesitant. They feel that it will be similar to their education experiences, where they were always considered at the bottom, and they have no hope that they will ever see promotion. By mandating these individuals to work with typically functioning individuals, they will not have the same opportunity to build relationships. It is as if we are saying, your other disabled peers are not good enough; you won’t get the opportunity to build a relationship with them. It is an external fight to get employers to hire these individuals, but what is the internal value for employees within the workplace?

Fourth, individuals are expected to seek jobs directly after graduation. I would like to amend that these individuals are not expected to go directly into a job, but rather vocational and day habilitation programs. These programs should not all be disregarded, but implemented as a higher education method for transitioning these individuals into the workplace.

Letters to Gabe

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Dear Gabe,

I can’t believe it’s been almost nine years now. Time sure flies. I know you can probably see me from where you are. I know you see that I have changed. Maybe for the better, but I will let God judge that one day. The day you left, I thought God died with you. How could He, the most powerful yet gracious entity take you from this world, from me? I needed you. I thought I could run any race until He took you. Was He just trying to show me how powerful He was and how weak we all are? I hated Him, Gabe.

I need to be truthful. I wanted to be like you. You were strong, faithful, selfless. When you left, those goals died. I sunk deep into the world. For a long time, I pitied myself because I lost you. My faith and trust in anyone or anything was gone. I thought if I shut out everything that I would become stronger. But it really only made me more weak.  For years a raced, running farther and farther away from the finish line, lost mid-course.

One night I found God again. I was alone, but He was there. You were gone, but He had always been there. I had lost everything. I was broken. He held me. And though you’re gone, He taught me something through your death. You kept the faith and you finished the race. I am so thankful that I had you as an example.

I wish you could see the world today; what Christians look like. They are self-centered, self-righteous, faithless. They are so consumed with how good they look. It’s so hard to run the race when your teammates don’t practice.

My heart goes out to those who don’t see who God is, and we Christians are to blame. We’ve made it look like Christianity is about being really good. Even worse, when we as Christians mess up, we lie, we cheat and try to mask that we are not perfect. To be honest all of my best friends don’t know who God is and they are better people than a lot of Christians that I know.

I’m so scared to tell others about God now. I’m afraid that they see me trying to make them another number of the hypocrites. How do I show them that it’s not about being good. It’s simply about believing. And how do you share faith? You can’t see it. You can’t prove it. It makes no sense unless you just look for it, and trust that it is real. Like one of our favorite songs, finding God is like trying to smell the color nine.

I love you Gabe and I hope all is well up there.

Your sister,

Bobbi Myrhee

Called

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IMG_1268In the last couple of weeks, an unusual number of people have congratulated me on my success of running a business. They tell me how much they admire my heart, my mission, my ambition.

Whenever presented with this, the inside of me cringes. My stomach flips. I cross my legs like I have to pee. I swallow the giant knot relentlessly wallowing up in my throat, and I quickly try to murmur a humble, thank you. I honestly hope I appear very professional when answering, but inside I feel like a one legged chicken trying to get to the other side of the statement.

I’m sure there’s a great many articles in Forbes on how to be a great business professional. How to overcome the anxiety and be the greatest leader in my industry. Build a strong sense of pride and you will always be respected, or, never let anyone know you’re scared to death to run a business.

First I want to say, if you ever have congratulated me on my success, I don’t want you to feel badly. You did absolutely nothing wrong. If anything, you were just trying to help. The fact of the matter is, I don’t feel like I deserve the credit.

Yes this is the point where I have to say, I would not be where I am without God. I realize this is the point where many of you will stop reading this. She’s just another oh-so-holy Christian that flaunts Jesus. I know that mindset, because I’ve been there.

If you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that I lost a brother about seven years ago. The day he died, I decided God died too. I walked away because He let me down. The truth is, even though I left God, He never left me. My business exists because I almost didn’t, and God always has. I went back.

Many times people ask, why a coffee shop? My business response is: It was a good fit; Coffee is the number two import to the United States and I had good connections for production. My true motivation: Eric and Levi; Coffee is a simple yet creative opportunity for my brothers to create a quality of life for themselves.

It’s all about which type of leader you want to be. A leader that makes a point, or a leader that makes a difference. My analytical mind has me constantly wandering through the numbers—we should do this because it will effect this in an optimal way. But what about risky decisions? There can be so many outlying variables that even the most flamboyant person would get a little weary in the outcome.

That’s when God steps in. He said, “So you want to open a coffee shop?” Magically, a building was presented to our family. Mystically, someone was selling every item we needed in a bundle for a very accommodating price. Paranormally, all the funds aligned for me to open the doors of my business directly out of college. Some call me lucky, others say blessed. I say, called.

So why do I get so uncomfortable? Because I wear a title of Founder and CEO, but I’m really just a catalyst. It is a constant battle inside me. My worldly mind is filled with pride, and my heart is filled with humility. I have a vision to make this business as successful as possible. My mind tells me the idea of being rich and famous is intriguing. My heart tells me that I need to provide as many jobs to people that might not otherwise gain the opportunity. Both sides make sense. Maybe both methods are possible. But I know that I have been called to make a difference, not a point.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.—Galatians 6:9

The Can/Will Matrix

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IMG_0954-0.JPGIn my previous blog, “Why Hire Individuals with Disabilities?”, I tried to clear up some of the fears behind hiring individuals with disabilities (Hence the blog title.) Many of these individuals have a unique skill set that can be very valuable for virtually any business.

As a community opportunity employer, (Which basically means that I hire individuals with disabilities), I have a strong passion in highlighting the skills of my workers, both typical and not. I have learned that many of my workers have factors that make them good workers. However, I want to clear one issue up. For centuries, people with disabilities have been declared unable to work, mindless, worthless. In fact, before Jews, Hitler’s first genocide target was individuals with disabilities. If they couldn’t work than they had no real benefit to his invincible society.

Years of segregation and harsh stereotypes may be a lot for these individuals to carry on their shoulders, but many have realized that if they work for the prize they too can be successful. But to say every individual with a disability has this persistent mindset would be just as stereotypical as past societal assumptions.

I have a very analytical mind, and I constantly assess the performance of my workers. I wanted to be able to assess the abilities of my workers based on both performance and character. I made an assessment that I use every three months to analyze each individual, both disabled and typical. The assessment grades on:

–Task Ability: Scales ability to do tangible tasks such as washing dishes or making drinks.
–Application Ability: How long does it take the individual to learn tasks independently?
–Initiative: Does the individual need constant guidance, or are they proactive in finding work?
–Relations With Others: Does the individual get along with co-workers and management?

(If you would like a copy of a performance assessment, feel free to email me at bobbi.custer@spottedcowcoffeehouse.com)

Considering the areas above, I have found that there are two major factors that affect my assessment categories. Ability or Can, and Desire or Will. Individuals both disabled and typical can be categorized in one of the four areas: Can/Will, Can/Won’t, Can’t/Will, Can’t/Won’t. Deciding what category an individual falls under has helped me determine whether or not an individual has the ability to excel, and provide overall benefit for my business.

I want to go over each section in detail, but I want you to keep in mind the phrase, Where there’s a Will, There’s a Way. In other words, individuals that are willing will lower your turnover rate, and provide the overall potential that you would like to achieve. It’s also important to pair the skill with the job being applied for. For example, an individual may accell at factory work, but if your business is in food service, the individual’s skills and desire may not necessarily transfer over.

Can/Will: This individual should be an automatic hire. I have an individual with a disability that shines brightly in this category. This category means that they have both desire and ability to do a job.

The reason that I hired her was of her excellent interview. I could tell by her responses that she was a hard worker. She also indicated that she loved the idea of working in the food industry. Though our coffee shop does not currently serve food, the preparation, skills, and challenges are similar. Considering these aspects, the individual continues to improve, and she provides a lot of worth to my business. For example, When she first started, she would just hand cups to a worker who knew how to make drinks. Now, this individual can make all the drinks while reading a recipe book, and she can run the cash register independently. Her progress assessment score was rather high, and we decided that her next focus would be speed. (Stay tuned for my next blog that talks about training individuals with disabilities, particularly in regards to speed)

Can/Won’t: I have also hired an individual that falls within this category, and I have decided that I will never hire an individual again if they have these aspects, whether typical, or disabled, and no matter how skilled they are. This category means that the individual has the ability to do the work, but they are not willing.

What is difficult about individuals that fall under this category is that at surface level, this individual can appear to be a Can/Will candidate. They may be backed with experience, and they know how to be viewed as a hard worker. Overall, they appear to have potential. I am still working on some sort of analytical way to decipher this person from the first category at first glance. But after a few months, all four areas of the performance assessment will drop–Initiative will start low, application and task ability will follow, and finally relations with others will deplete.

The individual that I hired that fell under this category appeared to have the qualities needed. She has a disability, but she has an attractive character, which is important in the service business. She also has the ability to do many jobs, and it was clear that her learning ability was strong enough to aid her in success in our workplace. But as time went on, her “won’t” factor began to glisten. I would give her jobs to do, and she would do the work, but she didn’t own the job; she had no passion for the work. As the weeks went on her lacadaisical character continued to glisten. Soon she started skipping work, and she wouldn’t call to confirm her absense. We talked, she cried, and she promised she would do better. Even after our talk, nothing really improved, and do to her consistent absense, I had to let her go.

Anyone that falls within this category creates a justification in their mind as to why they are not willing to put in the effort. For many people with disabilities, this justification is often the same: “I have a disability. I am different. Therefore I don’t need to try, and I don’t need to grow.” Think about your typical workers that are often late. They may often blame their tardiness on weather or the traffic. Like individuals with disabilities that fall in this category, the tardy worker has justified that they are entitled to be late.

Letting the individual go was hard, because my goal is always to provide a workplace that creates opportunity and a quality of life for the individual. But the sad truth is that once the individual has let the justification set in, whatever it may be, then they are no longer willing, and therefore they are no longer teachable. Realistically, they have decided that you cannot provide worth to them and therefore they cannot provide use to your business.

Can’t/Will: On the surface, this individual may appear to be someone that you do not want to hire. They are willing to try whatever you ask, but they often fall short of your expectations. But this employee can still provide worth to your business at an intangible level.

I hired a young lady that falls within this category. Her performance assessment score was low in task ability and application ability. However her relationship with others and her initiative were high. Over time task ability and application ability start to follow the suit of relations with others and initiative. Many individuals with disabilities will fall under this category. Their drive can help them actually develop into a Can/Will individual. As an employer, this worker will be desireable at a long term glance, but efforts toward success will begin as limited.

The individual that falls within this category is still just handing cups to other workers that can make drinks. She is learning what pastries to grab for guests, and how to prepare them depending on whether the order is here or to-go. This individual has learned to do a lot of our custodial work (e.g. sweeping and wiping tables) independently. She also does these independent jobs without being told to start them.

Because this individual has a strong desire to work, her passion is strong in what she can do. Recently I had all of my workers create a list of ten coupons or ideas to present that we could possibly implement. One idea that this individual created was a princess mother daughter tea party. At our coffee shop, we would throw a mother/daughter event and provide a discount on tea and a pastry for them to enjoy. This idea is something that I as the employer would never have thought of, but it’s ingenious! It allows us to offer an event that targets young mothers, one of our target markets. This individual had not known anything about our marketing ideas, but she took her own passion and imagination to create something our business may not have implemented otherwise. Therefore because of her initiative, relations with others, and her dynamic ideas, this individual has proved that she is a contributor to our business. More so, she is teachable, and I am confident that she will become an even more desireable employee over time.

Realistically, you can’t hire an employee based on what ideas they may or may not contribute. In the instance of Can’t/Will, you may have to consider the idea of job carving. I will write more on this in an upcoming blog.

Can’t/Won’t: An individual that falls under this category is of no worth to your business, and your business is of no worth to them. You will be able to tell without doubt that this is not someone you want to hire. I have hired many people with disabilities, and considering that, I as an employer can be considered more gracious than most. But there is still a point where I draw the line. I look at my sister. She has Cri Du Chat syndrome, she struggles to walk on uneven ground, she can only say one to two words at a time, she has many behavior issues. I will never hire my sister Randi to work at my shop, and she has no desire to work there. Though it may come across that I have no heart for her, I love my sister, and though she may never hold a job, she still has a quality of life. She improves in other ways and she doesn’t need a job to define success. For example, three years after Randi came to live with our family, her psychiatrist told my parents, “I don’t know what you did with this girl, but I never thought she would be able to go out in public.”

As a sibling of three individuals with disabilities, it is my job to advocate for their quality of life. But, as a realistic businesswoman, I also realize that no matter what the Employment First mandate states, not every individual whether disabled or typical, has the desire or ability to work. As an example, I have no desire to be a surgeon and if someone handed me a scaple and told me to go to town, I promise more harm than good would be done. The Employment First mandate says that if the person has the capability then they should own a job. In other words, if the individual has an ability to flip burgers, they should get a job at McDonald’s. I think it’s important that the state, employers, and the individual all consider the individual’s willingness as well. I know for a fact that if I were working at McDonald’s that my mindset would resemble that of a Can/Won’t individual. It’s setting up a failed relationship between the employer and employee. It’s not to discredit the worth of McDonald’s. My point is that saying someone that has the ability to work but they are mandated to do something they are not willing to do is Hitleristic. Saying someone has no benefit to society without holding a job is degrading them. Frankly, as an employer I am not concerned with how many widgets an individual made in a hour. I want to know that they can smile at a guest, and work toward providing quality service. Quality of life should never be considered quantity of life.